Halfway to hell or heartbreak…

Okay, that is a very misleading title. But seriously people, anyone else pushing through NanoWrimo this year knows how I’m feeling, maybe…hopefully. Because right now it is very painfully at the halfway mark and the steam is faltering.

I have made it to the level of answering facebook posts with memes and gifs. I have no words left to write on the menial things. Email at work are okay, and actually sometimes over-wordy, but once I get home, the brain cells fart…loudly.

Tonight though, I take time for me and am earning the https://d3bjkcszbfqz72.cloudfront.net/personal_achievement_badge_graphics/21/thumb.png?1510777199 Wellness badge with a vengeance. I have the music blaring, kitchen burning, and (obviously) the computer on. I would have preferred to have gone to the gym or for a run, but there was too much to do for meal prep and cleaning up the kitchen. I noticed that this last week, after forgetting to cook meat for the week, I ended up bingeing on carbs from the bakery and am now bloated as all get-out. If someone asked me when I was due, I would tell them at the end of the month. So I made the executive decision to take the night off and get the shit done that needs to get done because damnit, I can’t afford new jeans until after I sell my blockbuster novel.

So, how’s it been going? Well…I’m 32,378 words in according to Google Docs, and about another >600 more according to other word count apps. This is over 5,500 more than I am supposed to be at today. On the other hand though, I am 7 pages short of my typewritten pages as of tonight. 3 from previous days this week, and 4 tonight. And I am having to tell myself this is okay. And that is very difficult. Oh, and here’s the kicker! My scanner died on Monday. Yay effing eh!

Eric ordered me a new one that was supposed to get in today. But guess what? It didn’t get delivered. Oh, he got the ‘delivery attempted’ email and everything. The fucked up part? I was home when the mail lady came by, and I went out and said ‘hi’ and thanked her for the mail. THERE WAS NO FUCKING PACKAGE DELIVERY ATTEMPTED MOTHER FUCKER!!!! So yeah, I get to go all the way across town tomorrow on my lunch hour and pick it up at the post office. The worst part? In this city, this doesn’t surprise me. Of all the places I have lived, the public workers of Savannah are the laziest by FAR. Water, City, Postal, etc, all the departments. I have never seen so many non-working, non-caring people in my life. And I’m usually a fairly upbeat person and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Just walk into the water building on Broughton Street or the post office on Montgomery and you will see what I mean.

So, anyhow, I digress. Everything is going well. I just needed a night off, and need to quit pressuring myself on the ‘4 pages a night’ mentality. It did the job the first half of the month, but now that I have cushion, I need to chill out and put more thought into the story and less into hitting numbers. Last night I changed POV for the night because getting the momentum going was difficult. It worked perfectly as a primer, and then I switched back without thinking about it. Sometimes that’s all I need, just a bit of the priming of the pump, usually in First Person or me rambling to myself for a few sentences, until I swing it back into the story and keep going for a few pages. Dialogue is good for that too. Once the fingers start moving, it doesn’t take much to keep them moving.

I am learning a lot about my writing habits and abilities this month. I’m also finding out where my real priorities lay, and those people and events that I will make time for, and what just eats up my time. By the end of this, there is going to be a reckoning, and I will be all the better for it.



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